July 1997

Dear mom and dad,

(I thought that would be a nice way to start, as that is how Uncle Andrew spells "mum")

Anyway, just another note to say hello. Thanks, by the way, for all the fussing recently. Getting on, as cats tend to do theses days, is not always a "bed of roses". Which reminds me, when are you going to put some red roses out in the garden? I remember when we had a white rose bush midway (that is the war film Uncle Andrew likes) down the garden on the right and taller red rose bush by the old bunker? Remember the old bunker? Those were the days I could sneak out, catch a mouse, and keep cool at the same time! Now I get a big bush and that's it. I mean to say that wooden thing is OK but you have to be reasonable abut these things.

Anyway, as I was saying. Getting is not always a "bed of roses". Which reminds me - Oh, I just said that. My old legs can't get me around like I used to. And this hot one way and wet the next just isn't fun anymore. Times were when I could play around and have a ball - now I try to stay still and full. And talking about full. When are we having turkey again? I miss turkey. I can't always wait 'till Christmas. I know you have to, but couldn't you do something special - for little old me?

And dad - will you please leave the sports page OPEN on the floor. You know I cannot turn the pages over easily - so if you're gonna help me and leave a paper on the floor, leave it in a condition that I can use. Now self-respecting cat wants to read about "Our Leader". All that political stuff is a load of old litter anyway - and who needs old litter? It smells enough when it's clean. And when it's dirty and old, it sticks to your fur!

So - I heard you talking about Aunt Nicky coming over for a spot. A spot of what I ask! A spot of turkey maybe? That would be nice - and just the sort of reason you need turkey I suggest. Shame Uncle Andrew isn't coming - I guess I will see him at or just after Christmas. Have to go - some silly bird is sitting all quiet and still-like at the bottom of the garden. I have to keep up appearances so I will have to chase him off - just so all my mates know I am still boss in my own garden. I mean, I don't want the bird, and the bird doesn't want to be chased - but that is what cats do best.

Love and paws,

Q