Further news from the A.N. Wilson column in The Daily Telegraph

Hi! - Wherever you are. You’re on line with Web site number 11: you’re in touch with the mind and heart of Our Leader. Getting excited about the hols? Some of the schools broke up this week. Our leader hopes that all Britain’s kids will be taking their holiday break in Europe’s greatest holiday destination.

Where’s that, you ask? Britain, stupid. Under Chris’s great new Ministry of Culture, there will be activities for all of you – great leisure opportunities and sports facilities. Don’t let's forget the spiritual dimension either. A holiday is a great time to recharge your batteries. Our leader intends to spend a portion of each day during the holidays reading the good news bible. "Don’t be like the fat cats – put some of your investment into the Infrastructure of Heaven; you can’t serve God and money." ( Matthew 6:20).

Where better to be thinking about these things than in Modern Britain, where each and every member of the Cabinet is spending their Best of British Hols? ( Ron Davies, Welsh Secretary, is holidaying in a caravan in the Mumbles, Frank Dobson is being sent off to enjoy the hill breezes of Sellafield, and Mo’s got herself a charming self-catering fortnight in a terraced cottage in somewhere called the falls road.

Which part of Britain has Our Leader chosen for his hols? He’ll let you into a secret. He was so spoilt for choice, he has decide to go and stay with a friend called Geoffrey (now the Paymaster General), so that he and Cherie can decide where they would best like to take their British break, (Poor old Geoffrey’s holiday home isn’t in Britain at all – it’s in Italy. Tuscany actually.) There are going to be two big things on Our Leader’s mind as he sets out on his holiday. One is a very, very sad thing; the others a bit more positive. The sad thing of course, is the tragic death of Gianni Versac in Miami Beach. There are conflicts in all communities, of course – as Mo has discovered in Ireland. Even the Gay Community, to whom Our Leader has given his full and unreserved support, has its frictions. It is too early to comment on Gianni’s murder, but there are early indications that his killer was a cigarette smoker. Our Leader pledges that, while reducing the age of consent for gay couples to 16, he will do all in his power to eliminate cigarette smoking.

Meanwhile, as the fashion world mourns, there is the problem of what our wives will wear for that very special occasion. Most of us, particularly if we are lawyers, would hope that our wives would have at least a couple of Gianni’s "creations" tucked away somewhere!

That’s the second thing Our Leader will be mulling over on his holiday with Cherie, Geoffrey, and the other high-flying lawyers in their "set". Derry Irvine, the Lord Chancellor, one of Our Leader’s best, best friends, has posed a big question: should not the well-paid QCs be paid a little less for the good of the Community?

It’s all too easy to carp isn’t it? People have been pointing out that Derry earned over £500,000 each year at the Bar, and that he wants to spend £650,000 refurbishing his official residence. They say the t the Government attacks "Fat Cats" while it promotes Fat cats.

Did you know that Jesus got just the same sort of "flak" from the journalists and backbenchers of his day? They said he drove our devils because he was in league with the devil (Matthew 9:34). There’s a lesson for all of us isn’t there? What Jesus, and Derry, are both saying, is that these things are relative. Okay – o if you’re living in a back-to-back terrace in, let’s say, Sedgefield, then it might seem as if a QC living in Islington and selling her house for (let us say) £600,000, is doing very nicely. And some people might say " We don’t want Derry (or Jesus) lecturing us about the Fat Cats."

Our Leader does not want this to turn into a sermon, but he seems to remember that the same was said about Jesus. In Philippians ll., we read that, although he was a Fat cat, he went about just like a very ordinary person, involving himself in the community. That’s what it’s all about basically. Money is all "relative". In some senses, you are "richer" living in a small house in Sedgefield than paying for two cars, a nanny, and all the expenses of a QC’s life in London. The New Party encourages people to do well for themselves. But, as Derry says. Don’t flaunt it. Didn’t Abba have a song about the Brotherhood of man? Maybe that should be one of our holiday tapes.