Further news from the A.N. Wilson column in The Daily Telegraph

Hi! Hot enough for you? Here in San Gimigniano it’s sweltering, but Our Leader knows that’s nothing compared to the sizzle back home in Democracy’s Melting Pot.

And first, a word of warning, Web site number 11 is the only, repeat the only reliable source of news about Our Leader and his glorious 100 days of achievement. Only by turning on to this Web site, and by staying online, can you protect yourselves from some of the distortions and mind-pollution which comes spewing out of the other so-called news media.

Peter has told Our leader of his brush with Radio 4’s The World at One. On the very day when he wished to celebrate the achievements of Britain plc. he found himself in the studio with a trouble-maker called Martha Kearney. She accused him of "manipulating" the news.

In his many talks with his great predecessor, Margaret, Our leader has been warned that the BBC is still riddled with undesirable elements from the Old Party. Under the cloak of demanding free speech, these traitors and anarchists will do all in their power to poison your minds. They are the Enemy Within. As Peter pointed out, they are "very boring and very tedious".

These enemies of democracy have tried to suggest that Britain plc has been facing a series of "crises" over such matters as Lord Simon’s supposed "conflict of interest" over the ownership of a few shares, or the personal tragedy of Robin Cook’s marriage. Look, if it interests anyone on The World at One (and Our Leader doubts it will, since they are interested only in themselves), Robin’s wife herself has put the blame for that tragedy firmly and squarely where it belongs: on the Tories. Tory cuts in the Health Service led to her spending more and more hours in her hospital job in Livingston, Lothian. In consequence, the Cooks simply did not have time, as Our Leader and Cherie have done in this past week or so, to recharge their batteries.

Of course, with enemies of Our leader intent on stirring up trouble, Peter felt it was necessary to bring a few matters to public attention, such as Foreign Office concern about Hong Kong, which was, until that moment, under lock and key in a file marked "secret" in the Foreign Office.

The truth about Britain plc and the 100 days is not to be found in the gutter-media, which spews out lies at the behest of disgruntled Old Party members. Rather, you should listen to the writers, the intellectuals, and the stars, every single one of whom worships Our Leader. Those who didn’t make it this time round to join Ruth Rendell in the House of Lords have been particularly anxious to give their blessing to the new Britain. "They’ve been so nice to Camilla and Charles," says top writer Jilly Cooper." I voted Tory, but if there were an election tomorrow, I would vote for Blair."

Melvyn Bragg, a slightly more important person than The World at One’s Martha Kearney(!) points out that "a profound change in the consciousness of this country" has taken place.

He has told readers of Rupert’s Top Paper for Top People that Our leader will be in control for "20 years at least". Of the 100 days, he says, " Most great novels have great opening chapters. All great music has a great first movement." This is the sort of comment that Peter and Our Leader feel they have a right to expect from the media. Not the carping, destructive criticism of the BBC.

As they speed through such measures as the public branding and naming of paedophiles, the introduction of student loans and the Frank Field method of cutting out teenage lone mums (by cutting out their benefit!), no one can doubt anymore that the Old party is well and truly dead. As a matter of fact, Our Leader will let you into a secret. By the end of the glorious 20 years foreseen by Melvn, "parties" will be simply functions at Number 10 attended by pop stars.

By bringing on board top talents from business, from the Tories (David Mellor) and by having a monthly brainstorming with Paddy Ashdown. Our Leader will have eliminated the need for "parties" completely. From New Labour to New Britain in just under 100 days. Nostro Duce, as they call him in Tuscany, has recharged his batteries. Peter has given him full authority to say : "You ain’t seen nothing yet!".